One of my favorite reads in the “make money online” niche has been JohnCow.com, and yesterday he published an interesting post about winning friends online. Essentially, the post recommended that up and coming bloggers “brown nose” to so-called superiors in order to gain traffic and popularity (among other things). I feel that you should never admit to your lower-class status, and that brown-nosing should be avoided at all costs. So here’s a friendly rant where I am going to demonstrate why I believe “sucking up” isn’t the right way to gain traffic.

“We are going to let you in on a little secret here… this was a huge part of how we were able to get some pretty influential contacts when we initially started in our online business.

You have to be a brown noser!” -John Cow

Starting things off, I believe that John was correct in his post by outlining the fact that relationships are never truly 50/50 win-win situations. There is always going to be someone doing/giving more or getting more out of a particular trade off. While this is true, I don’t think that it merits brown-nosing in order to get what you want.

First off, I am all for flattery. I enjoy the “I love your blog” comments as much as the next guy. However, if you are going to do what John recommends and completely bombard me with “I just wrote you an article,” “I just made you a Squidoo lens” and “I just made a fan site devoted to you“… I am more likely to be turned off than amused. Why? There is a fine line between friendship and completely stalking someone. To put this in the nicest way possible, just talk with me on Instant Messenger or start up an email conversation… you don’t need to create a shrine in my honor (because that would need to be one BIG shrine). If you are going to go that far, call it what it is… begging.

If you are trying to market yourself as a legitimate blogger, you should never resort to begging the industry’s big players for a small amount of attention.

In John’s post about brown-nosing, he outlines a story that he equates to the power of kissing up to your superiors. This story is essentially about how he managed to get a door hinge fixed after he paid his rent to the landlord. The story is used to demonstrate how you can accomplish something you want by brown nosing. The only problem here is that I have a hard time understanding how paying your rent is equivalent to brown-nosing your landlord… to me, that’s doing what is on a contract.

Why brown-nosing doesn’t work
Many people think that simply showering someone with affection merits some special attention. But I feel that this couldn’t be farther from the truth. People who have made it big aren’t fools, and they can smell your foolish efforts coming a mile away. If you are going to go through the motions at the expense of your own time to kiss up to someone you consider higher up on the authority ladder, there is no way you should be writing to someone telling them a laundry list of what you have done. Quite frankly, they don’t want to hear it.

As the superior member of the deal, nobody wants to be pressured into a joint venture by some hot shot amateur who thinks they can steal your heart just by satisfying your ego problem. It’s not going to happen. Sure, there might be a few desperate situations where getting on your knees to beg for some attention might play out, but in the end you are further eroding your authority on the web and it probably won’t get you anywhere.

So if brown-nosing doesn’t work, how do you get attention from the big dogs? Be a proactive go-getter.

Being a “proactive go-getter” means being in the business for yourself. I’m all for linking up with a bigger website to show them you are supporting their efforts, but going out won’t get you anywhere. In the business world, people laugh at the fools that lower themselves for a cheap meal. The same thing will happen to you if you stoop to the level of the subordinate on your own behalf. You may be the lesser-half in a deal, but you shouldn’t be broadcasting this unspoken fact with flagrant acts of brown-nosing.

How to land that joint venture without brown-nosing
It’s important for everyone to leech off of the big guys by creating leverage in the marketplace. Remember that leverage is key, and it is something you miss out on when you brown-nose your way to success.

Here is John Cow’s recommendation:

“We are such fans of your blog and we know that a link trade is not really a equal fair trade and if you are interested and since we are such a big fan of your blog, we would be more then happy to write a great review of your blog, submit an article that is a review of your blog to EzineArticles.com plus put a link in exchange for just a link from you”

And here’s what it says to me:

“Hello there. I am an active reader of your blog and I really like your website a lot. I’m going to tell you right now though that the blog I run isn’t very good, and you shouldn’t take me too seriously. But luckily for you, I’m willing to do everything necessary to score a link. Thanks!”

This is not the right approach. It may be nice to get some free stuff, but you are unfairly pressuring them into a deal that they probably don’t want to make, while telling them that their blog is worth 10 times more than yours, thus lowering the value of your own website. Time intensive on your part, and not very effective in my opinion.

Here is The Net Fool’s recommendation:

“Hey there, this is Joe from Website.com. I just wanted to write to let you know that I have been a big fan of your blog for a while now and really enjoy reading your material. I’ve been able to pick up a lot of solid information from Blog.com and wanted to encourage you to keep up the great work. If you have the chance, I’d really enjoy it if you took a look at my blog sometime and let me know what you like or don’t like. Again, keep up the high-quality work. I’ve been supporting your blog by sharing your URL with my readers, and I feel like you are on the fast track to success. Have a great week! -Joe”

Why does my method work better? Instead of bragging about exactly what I am doing to drive traffic to XYZ.com, I casually mention off the cuff that I’ve posted a link here and there. This is nothing binding, and they’ll appreciate the subtle “visit if you get the chance” suggestion a lot more than a guilt trip into visiting and supporting your blog. At the same time, you aren’t admitting that you are inferior to them or even hinting at this… though it may be true. Essentially, it is a backend way to get some support by simply making things more casual and legitimate sounding.

Bottom Line: It’s definitely an important thing to attract the more popular bloggers from the get-go. This can basically help you leech off of their traffic and grow behind the scenes until you have enough influence to separate from the pack. I personally frown upon brown-nosers. While you may have to ask a favor every now and then… you shouldn’t sell your soul to get a link exchange.

-The Net Fool

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!